If I ran the Academy Award ceremony:

• The host would be a news reporter, chosen specifically for their inability to make lame jokes.
• Said host would read the award category, the nominations, and the winner, without any pauses or cuts to montages of said nominations.
• Award presentations that no one cares about (best sound editing, best art direction, best makeup, etc) wouldn't be televised.
• Award winners would receive their award on a side stage with no podium or microphone, thereby removing their ability to give an acceptance speech.
• The entire award ceremony would be 30 minutes long.
• Nielsen ratings for the event would be at an all time high.

Hold your applause, please.