Where Have All the Good Candies Gone?

Published on July 5, 2005

I love sugar candy. Not that gross “chocolate” that people rave about (yes Virginia, I dislike chocolate). I’m talking about the Willy Wonka kind of candy. Gobstoppers. Nerds. Runts. These things are my crack cocaine, and I always enjoy eating a box (or two). But lately, I’ve been having a hard time finding what I want.

The big boxes of Gobstoppers are available everywhere, but I try my best to avoid those for the sake of my teeth (I can crack them open in one bite – a mark of a poorly made “jawbreaker”). Likewise, Nerds are relatively easy to find, but I don’t crave Nerds like I do the others, so I usually decide to pass them up when I see them in the store. But I have had the most awful time in locating a reliable retail outlet that stocks Runts. Nowhere locally seems to carry them. And if they do, the supply has always sold out by the time I arrive. Grocery stores, Target, Wal-Mart, drug stores … the list goes on of the places I’ve looked.

Interestingly enough, the same goes for those tiny rolls of Sweet-Tarts (the ones that look like Smarties). You essentially cannot buy those things anymore, and that really fries my egg! What is a brother to do when a sugar craving hits? Apparently, these companies would rather push their “special” versions of these aforementioned candies: chewy sweet-tarts, sour sweet-tarts – anything but the normal ones. How can such atrocities be justified?

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